Happy days die...but some survive

Never wanted this to feel
Never wanted this to be real
Never wanted this to know
Never wanted this to show
I am weak

I'm falling all over myself
Once he has been someone else
I just wish you would come back home
So I wouldn't have to feel alone

Always wanted you to see
What is happening to me
Everything I needed was your help
Do you just care about yourself?

Im falling all over myself
Once he has been someone else
I wish you would dare to come back home
How could you leave me all alone?
I'm falling all over myself
Dying to be someone else
I wish you would dare to walk me home
I don't wanna fight this all alone

What is different than before?
Aren't we brother and sister anymore?

I'm falling all over myself
Once you have been someone else
You've made a hell, where once has been a home
How could you leave me alone?
How can I fight this on my own?

The room was full of darkness. She just could see the scary green light of the clock radio. She opened the door and slithered in. He didn't say anything. She turned around to see his face, the defense she contrived on the way home was already on the tip of her tounge: "I tried to call you", "Sorry, fall asleep and didn't realize how late I am" or "It's vacation time, doesn't matter when I come home". But she didn't even get around to say just one single word. As he turned towards her, there was this one expression on his face, she could never really classify - ghastly and angry -, he punched her face. The thwack was that rough, it threw her against the door, which was not totally closed and opened a little bit. She tried to grab the handle, to hold on anywhere, but he already pounced on her again. "Where the fuck have you been?" he asked and pushed his face that close to hers, that she could feel his breath on her throat, hot and smoky. He grasped her on her T-Shirt and tore her much closer to him. The cloth rumpled into his fist and welled out between his fingers. "I am waiting for hours!".
She couldn't say anything. Too big was her fear to say something wrong and to embitter the situation. "Answer me!" he shouted and thrusted her away that hard, she fell back against the door. But this time it opened completely and gritted over the floor. She lost balance, stumbled backwards and hit the tiles with her head. She noticed how her elbows scraped up as she tried to break her fall. Her face burned and her T-Shirt was totally wrinkled. And then, suddenly, he stood above her. "Stand up" he yelled. "Please" she begged, "please, stop!". "Stand up!" he shouted again and clawed his hand on her arm, trying to pull her up. She cowerd her head, tried to turn away, but he was too fast for her. She saw his fist flying towards her and he hit her directly over her left eyebrow. A wave of stars and colors obfuscate her visibility. She slid down, out of his stony grasp and fell on the floor. It felt hard and cold under her shivering body. She lifted her head, he stood above her, breathing heavily. She knew, she better stand up before somebody sees her like this, but for any reason she couldn't move. "Damn, stand up immediately!" he screamed, "Stand up. Now!". She tried to roll aside, away from him, hoping to get back on her feet again, but her whole body hurts. Her face, her fingers, her head, her eyes, her arms, her skin, every little inch of her body. Every part he has ever beat hurts, like old injuries. He jabbed his feet into her back, "come on". "No" she cries and crouched on the floor, tried to hide anywhere. "You little dirty whore, stand up". But she closed her eyes, clenched her teeth and prepared herself for what was coming towards her. "Brother. Where are you? I miss you so much". He bend over her and yanked on her T-shirt, tried to pull her up. While he was offending her, beating and kicking at her, she just kept her eyes closed and tried hardly not to let escape a tear. She was tierd. Worn. Exhausted. She felt old and weak. Just waiting for the next kick, for the next stroke. She didn't mind. Suddenly he released her, let her fall on the floor. He just went out, turned the light off and left.
The last sound was the hollow crack as she hit the floor.

An angry call
Where have you been?
Bursting glass around me
Shards on my hands
But I am still standing

A punch against my chin
A slap on my cheek
Burning on my face
But I am still standing

A shove against my shoulder
Yanking off my hair
Lying on the floor
But I am still standing

A kick on my back
A beat in my stomach
Crawling in front of you
But I am still standing

Being hurled around the house
Pushing down the stairs
Just don't think about it
'cause I am still standing

Doesn't matter how many times you'll beat me
Doesn't matter how many times you'll kick me down
Even lying on the floor,crawling, crinkle in front of you
I will always be standing
So much bigger, so much taller than you ever will

A good girl
Doesn't speak
Just listen
Stays silent
That's a good girl

A good girl
Doesnt't cry
Always smiles
Looks fine...everytime
That's a good girl

A good girl
is quiet
never asks why
or contradicts
That's a good girl

A good girl
Keeps her eyes down
Never looks up
and edures everything
That's a good girl

A good girl
Keeps her feelings inside
Locks the pain away
Never show an emotion
That's a good girl

A bad girl
speaks her mind
laughs and cries
endures nothing
What a bad girl

A bad girl
contradicts
rebels and revolts
brings disgrace about family
What a bad girl

A bad girl
Goes her way
Knows what she wants
Is alone, but free
What a bad girl

A good girl
Is something I never was
And I'll never be
Deal with it
Your "good girl" gone bad

You came to me
To catch my fall
Picked me up
When I broke down
Haunting questions
Alway the same
Who is the one to blame?

I'm about to lose my mind
Desperation all along
I'm about to go insane
You've been gone for so long
Just give me a reason
Or show a little light
To keep me believing
That there's a sense in life

You saved my life
And I had to save yours
What you did was even more
Now you've given up your faith
Just come back for fuck's sake

I'm about to lose my mind
Desperation all along
I'm about to go insane
You've been gone for so long
Just give me a reason
Or show a little light
To keep me believing
That there's a sense in life

I just wanna know
What did I mean to you?
Why did you make it true?
I don't have the slightest clue
But sure we could have make it through

I'm about to lose my mind
Desperation all along
I'm about to go insane
You've been gone for so long
Just give me a reason
Or show a little light
To keep me believing
That there's a sense in life

It seems like a lifetime
I was yours and you were mine
But life didn't turn out fine
You left me
Left me falling apart
Or was it me
who left you in the dark?

I'm about to lose my mind
Desperation all along
I'm about to go insane
You've been gone for so long
Just give me a reason
Or show a little light
To keep me believing
That there's a sense in life

Like a lifetime..I was yours and you were mine...