Happy days die...but some survive

My cousin told me to write another text, but somehow I am very uninspired..

All I wanna say right now:

I love you :)

I walk on a fragil line
Think I have known it
All this time
Something has gone
Terribly wrong
Just tell me how to get along

Now inside, it all dies
There's nothing left this time
Just a broken soul
That was never even mine

Come on, come on
Don't treat me like this
Help me to stand up
From the ground
You're gone, you're gone
Don't leave me like this
I'm stuck somewhere
I can not be found

I guess it really
Happened this time
Lost myself on the warpath
Lost my balance
on the tightrope
And there is no way
to get it back

Life is coming over me
Like it's all a big mistake
But I never thought
I'd just live to watch it break

Come on, come on
Don't treat me like this
Help me stand up
From the ground
You're gone, you're gone
Don't leave me like this
I'm stuck somewhere
I can not be found

Lost my balance on the tightrope...and there is now way to get back....

When I want to remember the last three month, I just have to take a look in the mirror. And I must confess that I don't even recognize myself anymore. What happened to me? I just see a pissed off, desperate and exhausted girl with deep, black eye circles. A girl who don't care about the world around her, who don't care what happened and who just don't care about herself. But now it's the time I can't stand my own common sight. It's annoying me. It's disgusting. Maybe it has to come this far, 'cause now I am ready to stand up again and to take my destiny in my own hands again.
One of my teachers was or is really worried about me and so he invited my father to a conversation. They talked about me, I was not allowed to be there, too. But I know what he said. He told him I would hurt myself. He told him I broke down. He asked many questions and I just wonder why he didn't ask me first. Now one of the most important rules: You want to have information about me? You wanna know something? Ask me! Not my parents, not my friends, not my teachers, ask me and you will get an answer. Maybe it won't be a satisfied answer, but you will get a response.
I think I know, why my teacher doesn't want to talk to me. He thinks I can't make decisions on my own, that I don't know what's right or wrong. And yes, he is right. Or he was right. I just didn't know what to do, 'cause everything felt wrong. But I was not me the last time. I always tried to be an independent, autonomous, wise and proud person and I think that I reached this aim in some way. And now my pride is saving me, 'cause it says 'no' to my attitude. It doesn't allow me to let myself down and now it's waking me up. My teacher wants my parents to help me. But I won't let them. I do not really know why, but they were never there for me, they broke everything and they were never a counterpart for me. And I don't want it to change just because I am in a critical situation now. I will get out there without their help. So I have to push them back. I will gave them some information, but not more than necessary. And even though my teacher might think that it's wrong, I will do it this way. I am aware of the responibility I have for myself now and I know that I am able to take it. Just because they are my parents, it doesn't mean that I need them. Sure, for some things I do, but not as support or an emotional prop. Even if they tried to help me, it just got even worse. So now it's time to stand up, to fight and to take my destiny in my own hands. I know I am stuck in a deep whole. And I also know that nobody will get me out of it. Nobody but myself. Teachers and friends, trust me: I know what's coming towars me. I know how to handle it, I know you will help me. I am ready to take responsibility for myself, for my actions and my decisions. I know I am young. But I do have reasons for my acting and just because I am a little inexpierienced girl, it doesn't mean that these reasons are not crucial or something like that.
Maybe I should be glad about my look in the mirror. I can return to my old me.
This is my awakening. My reawakening.

Thank you
For laughing at me
When I needed you
Thank you
For pointing at me
When I cried
Thank you
For nothing

Thank you
For leaving me
When I beg you for help
Thank you
For never being there
When I needed support
Thank you
For nothing

Thank you
For ignoring me
When I cried
Thank you
For smiling at me
When you lied
Thank you
For nothing

Thank you
For never understanding
What's going on
Thank you
For never knowing
What went wrong
Thank you
For nothing

Thank you
For all my fears
When I toss and turn at night
Thank you
For all the nightmares
I get when I sleep
Thank you
For nothing

Thank you
For never meaning it
When you said 'I love you'
Thank you
For never feeling it
When I kissed you
Thank you
'mum'
Thanks for nothing

I believe
In trust
But not the kind
That hurts you

I believe
In hope
But not the kind
That fools you

I believe
In luck
But not the kind
That leaves you

I believe
In love
But not the kind
That screws you up

I believe
In family
But not the kind
That break you down