Happy days die...but some survive

Sometimes I marvel
How everything changes
That we can't make it out
And now I'm going under
The sky turns to grey
There's this big dark cloud

You always said that we'd make it through

Bleeding
Weeping
Seeking
For the words to say
That I'm leaving you

We move in slow motions
Now everything's settled
I just wanna get out
'cause for me it's impossible
To hold on
When there's all my doubt

You always said that we'd make it through

Troubling
Stumbling
Fumbling
For the words to say
That I'm leaving you

There's no reason to wait
We both now it's too late
I can look at this much more sober
Do you know that we are over?

Bleeding
Weeping
Seeking
What you said was never true
Troubling
Stumbling
Fumbling
Do I need words to say
that I'm leaving you?

I told you I'm sorry. I told you I didn't want to hurt you.
What should I do? Should I fall down to my knees, crawling in front of you and begging for forgiveness?
If you can't forgive me, than say it. Scream it out, write a message to me, but just break the silcene. What do you want to reach? Do you want to hurt me? Don't keep me in suspense. You know I love you and I would never hurt you deliberately. I know you've read my e-mail. I know you've read my message....why do you ignore me? What should I do?
Whatever I might do.....I hope you know what really counts.

I'm sorry.

Sleepless
Dreamless
in the
Darkness
I'm sitting

Sleepless
Dreamless
in the
Darkness
I'm waiting

Sleepless
Dreamless
in the
Darkness
I'm drinking

I'm awake
I can't sleep
again
don't know what to do
I'm just tired

Should I take some pills?
What should I do?
Tell me anything
I don't care
I just wanna sleep

Please God!
Let me fall asleep
Let me dream
even if its a nightmare
but please...
let me sleep!!!

It's a very curious substance...maybe..magical. It can do so much for you. It's dagerous and attractive at the same time. The most teenagers drink alcohol, because they wanna be cool and fit into their stupid "Wannabe"-Groups.. No that's not the reason why I'm drinking this appalling stuff...
As I said, alcohol can do so much for you. You drink it and the ugly girl next door turns into a beautiful, sexy bitch. You drink it and suddenly everything seems so easy and you think you can threw your inhibitions away and just have fun. Yes, alcohol do strange things to our minds. But that's not what I like the most. I drink it, 'cause it closes my mind. Everytime when I drink alcohol, everything seems like I'm half asleep. I'm not sure if it's real or if it's just an illusion. I'm lying on the floor, and I forget all my worries, my fears, the pain, the tears, it seems so far away and I get a feeling of flawnless... I can't remember anything I'm just lying there...and than I fall asleep anytime.
Well, the next morning is not so nice. My head always hurts badly and my stomach turns...and sometimes I can't remember the whole last night. I just know what happened, because I find the bottle of alcohol in my room....
But I don't care about the bad feeling the next morning. All what I want is to numb my psychic pain for a while and alcohol makes me forget everything. I don't really know, what it's doing to me, 'cause I can't remember what really happens in these nights but it feels so good to have the control about my pain. I know, alcohol is not the right solution, but it helps me. It's the only time I can't feel anything. And that's good...

I read your text, dear cousin and I feel blue. Even if you don't believe it, but I really wanna help you. But I can't. First, there is the distance between us. Even one hour ago, I thought: "I'd like to see my cousin, again. I wanna hug her" But I can't. I would really like to visit you, to help you. But I can't. And second: I'm also lying here. Alone, crying and broken, maybe it's a diffrent reason, but it's making me unable to help you. I can't help you. I even can't help myself, so I can't help you. Don't think I wouldn't care for you, just because I'm unable to help you...
Sorry for my curious way of writing, but I'm...yes, I don't know. I just wanna say...Even if it doesn't seems that way, at the moment..but I love you and I care for you. Don't forget!