Happy days die...but some survive

I wrote about you in another text: "A new one" And now you're here!
I'm so happy and excited! But I'm a little bit sad, that I won't get to know you before Christmas...but I push the dark thoughts away and be just glad that you are healthy on this earth, now.
I can't say more... just:
Good Luck for your new life...I'll be there!

I don't know
who can I trust?
My mum lied
you lied
who is telling the truth?
I really don't know

All these lies
was it so easy?
Why didn't you tell me?
Because you love me?
Because you take care?
I really don't know

What should I do?
Should I be hurt?
Should I be angry?
Should I be sorry?
Tell me!
'Cause I really don't know

What do I know?
Do I know what happened?
Do I know who you are?
Do I know where you are?
Do I know where we are?
I really don't know

I wanna hide
I wanna cry
I wanna run away
I wanna die
not because of you
I really know

Do you know?
I'm not this typical girl
who thinks she's an adult
who thinks she knows everything
but I'm not a child anymore
Do you know?

But I know
I take care of you
I forgive you
I trust you
I can live with the "Real you"
I love you
That's all I really know

My dear, I love you. I don't want to break off contact with you. I just wanna know you. I wanna believe you. I wanna know I can trust you. And I wanna know that you are true to me and that you are the one you really are. 'cause only than, we can have a good relationship and we know that we can rely on each other. Don't hurt yourself. Don't die. I won't watch you die. I won't watch you bleed... I will be there for you. Do you remember? CFS? Do you remember the meaning of it? Please, from now on..be true to me! Be just true to me. Will you promise?
I love you more than anything <3

To disappear
to vanish
to abscond
to come out
to go missing
that's all I wanna do

I can't take this anymore
I can't stay any longer
There just two possibilities
either it changes
or I'll leave
and disappear

This is the end
all my plans went wrong
I can't stand anymore
There's nothing left but
fight, pain and tears
so I'll just vanish

Just wanna leave it all behinde
I give my hopes up
it won't turn out right
Here is no place in this world for me
so I'll just go away
and abscond

I never wanted you to leave
not this way
but I couln't stand another goodbye
so I'll make it easy
and disappear without a trace

To disappear
to vanish
to abscond
to come out
to go missing
that's all I wanna do

(This song is for all my friends, I need you..I love you)

They are my inspiration
They stay strong
when I can't find my destination
or the night is so long

'cause without them
you have the guarantee
that life's not easy

When my world is falling apart
They are the light
in the deepness of dark
I'm so glad
that I have you
And when I can't find
my way home anymore
they are the ones
who open a door
So there's no way to pretending
without friends
no happy ending

I can give a damn
they are here
when I need them
They are right there
where they belong
so I know I'm not alone

and when my world is falling apart
They are the light
in the deepness of dark
I'm so glad
that I have you
And when I can't find
my way home anymore
they are the ones
who open a door
So there's no way to pretending
without friends
no happy ending

They are
just like a dream for me

<3

You're face is in my mind
every day
I never thought
that it was gonna end that way
but without facing consequences
you always take the direct way
and I think
that it will never turn out okay

You got the chance to make my feelings worthless
and without hesitating, you said yes

You should've said no
before you let it all go
You should've thought twice
before smiled and lied
You shouldn't walked that way
you knew it wasn't okay
And I should really try
not to ask myself why
'cause now it's really clear
You don't belong to me here
When will you finally see?
You should've said no
Mommy, and you might still have me

You just seemed so friendly
and happy to me
But I know behind your smile
Is a face I can not see
Did you reach what you wanted?
Why did you have to go that far?
I'm still standing where you started
and just don't know who you are

For you, my feelings are worthless
how could you ever say yes?

You should've said no
before you let it all go
You should've thought twice
before smiled and lied
You shouldn't walked that way
you knew it wasn't okay
And I should really try
not to ask myself why
'cause now it's really clear
You don't belong to me here
When will you finally see?
You should've said no
Mommy, and you might still have me

I can't resist
before I go tell me this:
Is it worth it?
Is he worth this?

As I said
You should've said no
Mommy, and you might still have me...