Happy days die...but some survive

Miss my kitty. That's all I can say. Three weeks ago he died. On the outside and by the day it seems like I am over it. But that's not right. Every evening, when darkness surrounds me, I realize how alone I am without him. It's so empty here now. And than I can't hold back the tears. I still miss him. Miss him so much. I don't think that anybody can understand this, 'cause he was "just a cat"..but he was so important to me. I can't describe my pain..it just hurts so much. And the listless and tacky jokes of my aunt don't make it better. They just cause feelings of guilt. Why didn't I look after him much better. I should have protected him much more... Am I the one to blame? Is it my fault, that all my kittys are dead now? But I loved them all so much. Unique Leo. It makes me feel so bad. He was the best little kitty I've ever had.
I'm so sorry....