Happy days die...but some survive

It's one of these nights. These nights when I can't sleep, because my emotions keep me awake. I'm just feeling sad, angry and missunderstood. Every fucking word I say is wrong. As many as one person is sore or angry after a conversation with me. I hate it when people believe they would know what I think or how I feel. When I say something, they analyse it and most they missunderstood me. I've got an uncle and an aunt. Sure, I love them, but they always think they know what's going on with me. My feelings and my attitude is always just the puberty. If they ask me: "How are you" and I answer: "Not so well, because..." They just they: "Oh, that's the puberty" If I try to tell them what I feel, what I think and that I hate their actions, they just laugh and say: "Yes, poor girl, nobody loves you" I'm not poor. I'm just unhappy. But that's all my fault. If I'd really want, I think I could change something, but I do not have the motivation or what ever. I know that it is my fault, that I'm unhappy, but I don't mind. I just want to go away from this place. Here is nothing what's holding me. But I can't and so I have to deal with the situation. I think, I just should accept it all and everything will work out. Life is just an unswayable growth and you believe that you can change something, but in reality the nature have a plan, which nobody can change.
But that's not the theme. I've got the feeling, that everything what I do is wrong. I'm hurting the people just because of saying a word. If I say something, the people think I'm crazy or just pile on the agony and if I say nothing it's wrong too. So tell me, tell me what to do. You always say that I'm a little child, so now, the little child don't know what do you. Say whats on my mind or shut up? I'm insecure. I don't know where to go, what's the right place? Where do I belong, and to whom do I belong? You make it so easy. I feel terrible and it's just the puberty. No, it couldn't be my fucking life... it's just a phase. The whole life is a phase. I just hope that the phase I'm stuck in since a few years is over soon. I hope so...

After twelve
not so well
but it's still too soon to tell
what I'm feeling now
I don't think
that you understand
what's round this bend

And that's because you never listen
and when you do
you don't take it seriously

So I try it my way
and do it all alone
it was always the same
the story is getting old
So I guess the nothingness
will be the end of the roud
soon, it will be too late
I have to find the mistake

A lot to say
but not today
there nothing left but silence
or extraneous conversations
A fast goodbye
everytime
don't remember
what I loved about things
I ever liked

And that's because you never listen
and when you do
you don't take it seriously

So I try it my way
and do it all alone
it was always the same
the story is getting old
So I guess the nothingness
will be the end of the roud
soon, it will be too late
I have to find the mistake

I thought
maybe I will get somewhere
but I'm still nowhere at all
Have to question every move I make
Every step is wrong
I remember what it feels like
to know you
but it was taken away
can't think about what I am learning right know
but I will think on it
someday