Happy days die...but some survive

I'm hoping
If I lay here long enough
I'll figure out what it is I want to
Say to you
I wish that I could tell you
That I'll be missing you
Or that I still think
We could have been perfect
If I was with you

But all these things
You'll never know
I just wanna say
But I'm too afraid

So I won't say anything at all
Won't tell you
That I think you make a mistake
Or that it's you I think about when I lie awake
Every night
I won't tell you that I miss how we laughed
Or that somehow I just want this back
I am such a fool
But I can't do that to you
So I won't say anything

I've been lying here
Trying to convince myself
I would be better off without you
It's hard for even me to believe
Maybe all we needed was time
And if we met again
Things would be different in my mind

All these things
You'll never know
I just wanna say
But now it's too late

So I won't say anything at all
Won't tell you
That I think you make a mistake
Or that it's you I think about when I lie awake
Every night
I won't tell you that I miss how we laughed
Or that somehow I just want this back
I am such a fool
But I can't do that to you
So I won't say anything

It almost kills me not to say
All the things I want you to know someday
But I know that it is better this way
If I don't say anything

There's a closed door between me and him. We once used to sleep in the same bed, but my nightmares got him afraid, so he asked me to sleep in the room right next to his. Obviously there's not much space between us, just a few meters - but it feels like we're falling apart. It's the closed door. I can't stand lying here, watching this door just hoping he would come and ask me to come back. I miss sharing a bed, a blanket. I miss cuddling with him. I felt so save being next to this boy. But now everythings's broken. I'm looking at this door and it just drives me crazy, because I know I'm the only one who is forced to stay outside. All his other female friends are welcome in his room, are allowed to share a bed with him. It feels so insane.. It's just not fair. Think I should sleep at home again, where's no closed door, reminding me of all what went wrong. A closed door - not just separating two rooms...

Can anybody tell me
What to do about you?
Do you expect me to read your mind
When I look in your eyes
Is there hidden the truth?

We know there is a hard time coming
So where are you running to?
Can anybody tell me
What to do about you?

Fascinated by your way of talking
Even amazed by how you're walking
We could be anything
But I'm not sure what to believe in
I love the way you're speaking
Even the air you're breathing
Can anybody tell me
What to do about you?

Tell me what to do about you
You are just one of the kind
I can't get out of my mind
What are you pushing me through?

We know there is a rough time coming
But it could end up in something new
But now just tell me
What to do about you

Fascinated by your way of talking
Even amazed by how you're walking
We could be anything
But I'm not sure what to believe in
I love the way you're speaking
Even the air you're breathing
Can anybody tell me
What to do about you?

Tell me what to do about you
Is there anything I can say
Anything I can do
That won't break us in two?
I know there is a hard time coming
I can't stop loving you
Tell me what to do about you

I am not the kind of girl, who sould be rudley barging in on a serious relationship. But you are not the kind of boy who sould be falling for the wrong girl.

Is it possible to know someone, even though you just met him a few months ago? Is it possible to be acquainted with somebody and to be absolutely amazed at him again and again? Because I feel that way. I met this incredible boy and somehow we got into a curious relationship. It's hard to describe. On the one hand I am so close to him and on the other hand he's just miles away. How is that possible? We trust each other. He told me about his deepest thoughts and secrets, things that happened to him in the past. And using his elusive life experience he is on hand with help and advice for me. I just feel save with him. And because he opened up to me and affords me a closer look at his soul, I really think that there is something. I can feel it. I never felt so close and familiar to someone that quickly as I do now. But it's just complicated. He wants to be a friend of mine. He is interested in my thoughts and worries, he cares for me. I know that, because he told me and has already shown it. I am sure he feels our connection, too. But there is his girlfriend. She hates me, thinks I am a bitch and all I wanna do is taking him away from her. He told me, they often have arguements about this topic. Somehow I feel like I am destroying a relationship. Before I was walking by, they never argued that much. But...is it really me to blame? Maybe their relationship is just not strong enough to handle one of them being in touch with some other girl or guy. I am not the source of their problems, I am just a symptom. Am I? If she has such a low self-esteem to consider me as a potential threat, it's not my fault. Why should I take care of her feelings? She doesn't even know me and assumes me to have sex with her boyfriend. I don't wanna consider her feelings, all I wanna do is being his friend. Not hers! I am not sure, if I want more, but if friendship is all I can get and all he offers to me, I will take and appreciate it. Because I really think between us could grow an amazing relationship we both can benefit from. But this is impossible, if she is always pulling him away from me. It's also hard for him, I guess. He loves her (unfortunately) and would never hurt her, never ever! But he also wants to be my friend - at least I hope so. Is he aware of the fact that this will not work for long? Someday he will have to make a decision... and I hope it's the right one.

I am not the kind of girl, who sould be rudley barging in on a serious relationship. But you are not the kind of boy who sould be falling for the wrong girl.

Dark thoughts
Feelings of guilt
Memories holding be back
Thank God,
I'm free from all this

False Friends
Lying people
Persons pushing me down
Thank God,
I'm free from all this

Unreachable boy
Deceitful hopes
A disappointing love
Thank God,
I'm free from all this

Same old hypocrites
Phoney accusations
Ridiculous conversations
Thank God,
I'm free from all this

Pressure from everywhere
Demands, charges and prejudices
The wish for justification
Thank God,
I'm free from them
And free from all this

:)